Two different jobs
A literal draft is scaffolding, not the finished building.
The first draft should often sound a little strange. It keeps case relationships, clause order, and verbal force close to the surface. That strangeness is useful because it shows what the Latin is doing.
The second draft asks a different question: how can this become natural without quietly changing the evidence?
Revision checks
- Did the subject or object change during smoothing?
- Did a subordinate clause become too independent?
- Did a participle disappear without leaving its logic behind?
- Can every elegant phrase still point to a Latin cause?
Readable is not the opposite of faithful. It is faithfulness made responsible to a reader.
Revision principleWhat to preserve
Preserve the decisions, not necessarily the awkward surface. If the Latin requires cause, concession, sequence, or contrast, the readable version must carry that relation even when the wording changes.